Do what I do. Hold on tight and pretend it's a plan!

I'm going to begin by saying "Quantum Mechanix, this is all your fault!" You can't escape this, QMx. You posted the link. On your head this whole thing lies! For you see ladies and menfolk, my mind is being warped...by the 1978 disco-style remix of the Doctor Who theme tune. In this article from io9.com, re-posted by QMx, therein lies the video with the aforementioned funky tune. I mean FUNKAY...oh dear gods, the funk. It won't leave my brain.

In order to distract myself (even though I have the video playing in the background because it's frakkin' addictive), I have decided that this will be the perfect opportunity to blog about that great stalwart of British science-fiction, Doctor Who.

I'm a geek and I'm British. It follows in bizarre logic that I am, of course, a fan of Doctor Who. While I imagine you could probably, somewhere, find a British geek not a fan of Doctor Who, it would likely be rather difficult. I will conduct a poll about this at work with all the geeky regulars, but until then, I want to talk about Doctor Who to get my mind off the brain-melting funk. That addictive, funky goodness...

Let's face it. As a science-fiction writer, I have toyed with the idea of writing about time travel. Come on, we all have. In fact, I dare any science-fiction writer who's watched an episode of Doctor Who to put their hand up and say they haven't dreamed about writing an episode themselves. While tied to a polygraph. With a bunch of kittens dangling over a shark-infested pool, to be dropped in at the first sign of a lie.

My journey with Doctor Who...well, I can't actually remember where it truly began, though I know my mother, something of a geek like myself, was an avid fan of Doctor Who in its glory days. One of my earliest memories of Doctor Who is a bizarre one. It was 1999. I can tell you that for a certainty because I saw this episode just before I went to see Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace for the first time. Before I truly understood the genius of the first three films and how Empire Strikes Back is the best by far.

But I digress. It was 1999. And it was perhaps the most epic of classic Doctor Who episodes to watch. It was, at the very least, the first part of..."Genesis of the Daleks". It was years later that I was talking to my mum about these episodes and she told me her favourite part...the part, which, as a child, had her on the edge of her seat screaming at the screen.

For those who have not seen "Genesis of the Daleks" and would prefer to watch it without knowing what happens...I'd stop reading about here...at least just skip over the next paragraph. Or two.

It was the Doctor. (*The* Doctor for all you Tom Baker loyalists out there). Holding two frayed lengths of wire. All he had to do was touch the wires together and *BOOM*, that's it, no more Daleks. But he hesitates. Two wires. Staring at these frayed copper conductors, he realises that of all the things he can do as a Time Lord, he cannot do this. He cannot destroy the Daleks. It would undo too much, destroy too much history, too much of the timeline. Too much of his timeline. Even though his companions are urging to do it, to end the most terrifying threat the Universe has ever known, the Doctor...spares the Daleks.

A part of me wishes I could go back and tell my ten year-old self just how incredibly important a moment that was, just how brilliant the writers were for putting the Doctor into that position.

Of course, six years later (2005), Doctor Who made one heck of a comeback. In the clever guise of Christopher Eccleston with the brilliant line "So? Lots of planets have a north!" to explain his accent, Doctor Who once again caught the hearts and minds of the British public. And in those last seven years...well. We've had Christopher Eccleston, David Tennant and Matt Smith, all fantastic Doctors with wonderful companions but...

...well...

...a lot of my friends will be rolling their eyes here, but...well...

...it's totally all about Amy Pond.

I'll hold my hand up and admit it - feisty red head with a Scottish accent and a knack for being...well, fiery, determined and thoroughly Scottish? You're godsdamn right I went head over heels when this girl stormed onto our screens in 2011 screaming lines like "Twelve years and four psychiatrists!"

But that isn't the finest moment in Doctor Who. As much as I love Amy Pond and think she is wonderful (and Karen Gillan a fantastic actress), there is one episode that stands out above all others, that for me marks the high point of Doctor Who.

"Blink".

It's 2007. David Tennant is the Tenth Doctor. Freema Agyeman is his companion, Doctor Martha Jones. And yet this episode, this brilliant, brilliant episode features for them for probably a grand total of five minutes. For there's two things that steal the show - the beautiful, incredible leading lady Sally Sparrow (Carey Mulligan) and one of the most terrifying nemeses the Doctor has ever faced.

The Weeping Angels.

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but as a writer there are things you read or watch and you're thinking "Oh gods, why the frak didn't I think of that first?" I can honestly say, the Weeping Angels are up there. In fact, I might do a top ten list of things I wish I had thought up first in terms of genius storylines/ideas. And the Weeping Angels are definitely up there.

While their appearance in the 2011 series dulled their fire just a tad, the Weeping Angels remain one of the finest creations to come from the mind of head writer Steven Moffat. And when I was reading China Miéville's Perdido Street Station, the central "villains"/monsters, the slake-moths...they reminded me a little of the Weeping Angels. Insofar as when I was reading Perdido Street Station and the excitement that gripped me when the slake-moths were introduced convinced me that China Miéville should write an episode of Doctor Who.

Of course, no one would ever, ever sleep at night. Ever again. Yet I can't help feeling it would be *SO* worth it. Anyone else with me on this one? Might be a bit late for series seven (the trailers for which look EPIC), but maybe series eight, eh? I think it would be an epic idea. Neil Gaiman wrote an episode, why shouldn't China Miéville? *Sod's Law follows that China Miéville hates Doctor Who...*

Life is Pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something

Life is pain, but not the in the context our dear Westley meant. No, today, as I forgo the words of Joss Whedon for the words of The Princess Bride, I'm not talking about heartbreak...oh wait, yes I am. But not heartbreak and pain as Westley understood it. No, for today I talk about something that has been tormenting my soul for the last couple of weeks.

San Diego ComicCon 2012.

It's a simple dream, held by many a geek the world over. One day to have the money to attend San Diego ComicCon. To those geeks who are going, who have the money and resources, I salute you in my near Hulk-like greenness of envy. If there was ever a year to go to San Diego ComicCon, it would appear to be 2012.

Perhaps this is mostly because I've become far more clued into the happenings of the geek community since starting up this blog in January. You see, before then, I didn't use Twitter except for a dark time in my third year known as "Professional Writing" and didn't follow as many fan pages on Facebook. But thanks to this blog and a certain school friend and Caerdydd-based "Landshark", I am, as aforementioned, far more clued in.

And it's torturing me.

Let's start with Quantum Mechanix. These beautiful, wonderful people have been the light of my growing geek collectibles collection and bane of my bank account since July 2011, when I obtained the River Tam Big Damn Heroes maquette and my beloved Browncoats t-shirt. As is to be excepted of geeks of their talents, artistry and prominence, they have a booth at San Diego ComicCon, (hereafter abbreviated SDCC, because while I'm OCD enough to keep saying San Diego ComicCon, it'll probably be easier on your eyes if I say SDCC). At this booth...oh lords, oh lords, the goodies! Pictures are abounding Facebook and Twitter. The key source of torment? These. Dogtags. Firefly dogtags. Oh, they say it's just prototypes, but...as the Futurama Fry meme goes - "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!" Come on, QMx, you know you have it. I might as well just set up a direct debit, you take monthly instalments and just send me your awesome stuff. Please? Pretty please?

Then there's the panels. Doctor Who. I know I'm British, I know I only live an hour's train ride from Cardiff (and have friends there too!), but you know, I've never seen much of Doctor Who outside of the episodes on TV. Oh and once, Sylvester McCoy (the Seventh Doctor), regularly visited my workplace while performing at Bath's Theatre Royal. So I've been in the presence of the Seventh Doctor, but that's it. And let's face it, he does not have a companion as drop dead gorgeous as Karen Gillan. So maybe I would want to see the Doctor Who panel just for her.

But then there's an Iron Man 3 panel! Tantalising promises of panels from industry professionals! As a writer, that last part intrigues me most - don't get me wrong, an Iron Man 3 panel with the likelihood of Robert Downey, Jr popping in for a quick stage-stealing appearance? Hell yes! But...as aforementioned, I'm a writer. It's twenty to three in the morning here. I'm babbling about the heartbreak of not being able to attend SDCC 2012. One day, my wish is be on one of those SDCC panels. So I best get writing.

And it's not just panels either. I mentioned Quantum Mechanix and their goodies. A while ago, back in April, I stumbled upon a link someone had posted on Thief's wall. It was about ALL COLOUR versions of Bryan Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim series. Guess what's going to be at SDCC 2012.

However, I'm not quite finished here. Oh no. For you see, I've saved the real kicker, the real heartbreaker of not being able to go to San Diego ComicCon 2012 until last.

The 10th Anniversary Reunion of Firefly.

This article, where I'm getting a lot of my heart-wrenching info on what's happening at SDCC, reckons there won't be a dry eye in the house when those guys get back up on stage together. I agree. I don't know if my eyes would be dry. Throats are probably going to be raw screaming approval. Women swooning over Nathan Fillion and Alan Tudyk. Men swooning over Jewel Staite and Morena Baccarin. The sheer awesomeness of the momentous occasion.

I cannot adequately express how much I could be there. Even if I was crammed in, way at the back of the room, struggling to see, I wish I could be there. There's only one thing in the world I wish for more and believe me, between Firefly reunion and that unspecified thing, it's one frakkin' tough call!

However, although I'm going to miss out on a lot of these awesome things, I'm determined not to entirely languish in self-pity. I may not be attending SDCC for a long, long time due to not having near enough money to fly out to California, I'm going to have my own little geek-fest I think. I can't pretend it'll be anywhere near as epic or awesome as San Diego ComicCon, but if the best I can do is curl up with my favourite geeky movies this weekend to try and numb the pain, then by the gods it's what I'll do.

For those lucky enough to be attending, once again, I salute and envy you. San Diego ComicCon 2012 is yours. Bring back some great stories, kids. You owe us that much!

I want to be an achiever. Like Bad Horse.

At work today I was struck by my not uncommon compulsion to sing, but something was very, very wrong. Not with my song choice - Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. But with my ability to remember the songs. I mean, this is Dr Horrible. A work of Joss Whedon. I can recall all the words to the Buffy musical episode "Once More, With Feeling" (a phrase that, I must say, I don't get to use as often as I would like to!), but somehow, Dr Horrible escaped me.

This, was most definitely, a problem. One which I resolved, somewhat easily, by putting it on as soon as I arrived home from work. And, a tad naturally, it sparked my neuro-synaptic relays. Or, in other words, I started thinking. About villains. About my favourite villains.

Oh yes children! It's time for my top ten run-down of my all time favourite villains!  As always, spoilers will be avoided as much as possible, but apologies for any that slip in.

10: Darth Vader (Star Wars)

Ever moaned about your boss breathing down your neck? Feared his or her wrath if you didn't do your job properly? Then spare a thought for the poor men and women of the Galactic Empire. Failed to stop those pesky Rebels from stealing the Death Star plans? Were those really the droids you were looking for? Then watch out, because Darth Vader isn't above using the Force to choke the life out of you. He's also a pretty mean duellist with a lightsaber. Just ask Obi-Wan Kenobi.

9: Julian Sark (Alias)

He's dashingly handsome, dashingly devious and has an uncanny knack for keeping himself alive. Captured numerous times by the CIA over his criminal career and yet this sneaky little bugger always manages to escape. How does he do it? His response to Sydney Bristow and Michael Vaughn should sum it up - "Not a problem. My loyalties are flexible." Enough said really.

8: Dick Jones (RoboCop)

When it comes to money-grabbing, amoral capitalists, none do it better than Dick Jones, Senior Vice President, Omni Consumer Products. The driving force in the ED-209 programme, mastermind behind a criminal underworld, general all-round jackass. His departure from his service to OCP is particularly memorable too. Ronny Cox has played many a villainous jackass in his brilliant career, but his portrayal of Dick Jones makes him the definitive corporate villain.

7: Robert "Sideshow Bob" Terwilliger (The Simpsons)

Voiced wonderfully by Kelsey Grammer, Sideshow Bob is quite possibly one of the most charming villains ever to grace animation. I mean, who else would consent to his arch-nemesis' last request of a performance of the entire score from Gilbert and Sullivan's HMS Pinafore? That's right. No one but Sideshow Bob. Though it has to be said, he really didn't need to rig his mayoral election. But oh well. Still a wonderful villain.

6: GLaDOS (Portal)

Genetic Lifeform and Disc Operating System. Quite possibly the most deranged and psychotic Artificial Intelligence since the seminal HAL 9000 from 2001. As can plainly be seen, Ellen McLain's completely off-its-axle AI beats out its forerunner to the number six spot. There's nothing more joyous, yet also incredibly creepy, than hearing her synthesised voice taunting you throughout the game. "I think we can put our differences behind us...for Science. You monster."

5: Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

"Home sweet home." Oh yes, Spike. You did very much make Sunnydale your home. Crashing through the town's sign in "School Hard", Spike made one heck of an entrance to the Hellmouth, then went on to make his awesome speech about the Crucifixion, the first of many epic monologues. But none finer than my favourite Spike episode, "Lover's Walk" - "Love isn't brains, children, it's blood! Blood screaming inside you to work its will! I may be love's bitch, but at least I man enough to admit it." And a damn fine man, and villain, you are Spike.

4: Hans Gruber (Die Hard)

"You asked for miracles, Theo, I give you the F.B.I." When villains come as slick and sneering as Alan Rickman, you'll overlook his less-than-German accent. Every word from that man's lips are just so beautifully enunciated that it doesn't matter that he's not an evil dictator of the galaxy, maniacal AI or corporate tool, he's an amazing villain. In his own words - "I am an exceptional thief, Mrs McClane. And since I'm moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite." Genius. And classically educated too.

3: The Master (Doctor Who)

Although his name would say otherwise, The Master isn't master of this list, but he comes frakking close! Alas, my early Who knowledge is limited mostly to "Genesis of the Daleks" and Jon Pertwee's adventures with the Autons, so it's John Simm's joyously evil performance as the megalomaniac Master that snags the number three spot. As seen with Sideshow Bob, it's not uncommon for villains to attain political office. But only The Master would go Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, gas his entire cabinet at their first meeting, then go on to completely take over the world and successfully capture the Doctor. Now that's villainy.

2: Erik Lehnsherr/Magneto (X-Men)

Shown here by the wonderful Michael Fassbender, but also including Sir Ian McKellan's classic performance as the X-Men villain, he is just short of my favourite villain, but by a tiny margin. It was a very close race. For me, Magneto is made exceptionally brilliant by a remark in the third film (many deny it existed, but sorry guys, it did happen and it had some pretty good moments) - "Charles Xavier did more for mutants than you will ever know. My single greatest regret is that he had to die for our dream to live." It his genuine respect for his own nemesis, his old friend, that elevates Erik Lehnsherr above your rank and file villains. And we can only hope that Michael Fassbender will continue to breathe new life into the character as the franchise continues. Also, it gives the ladies a villain to swoon over.

1: Mayor Richard Wilkins III (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

That's right kids, it's a Buffy villain snagging the top spot, but not just any old Buffy villain. The Mayor, polite, dedicated public servant of Sunnydale, very particular about hygiene and very disapproving of swearing, but also not adverse to murder and devouring Sunnydale High students and staff (sorry, Snyder) in order to achieve ascension to pure demon form. There's just something that simultaneously warms and chills the soul about the Mayor. He's an equal opportunities employer - humans, renegade Slayers, vampires. In the Mayor's Sunnydale, everyone gets a fair chance. Well, right up until he becomes a giant snake. But thanks to the Mayor, Sunnydale High, class of 1999, gets one hell of a graduation ceremony. Kudos, Mr Mayor. Kudos.