I've been meaning to do this one for a while. In fact, I had planned to do it here and had the title reflect that it was going to be about my top ten favourite tech guys. And girls. Since I've been feeling like I'm a little behind on my random rambling, I decided to do this one today. Finally. After all this time.
Naturally, as is my custom, the title of this post comes from the mind of Joss Whedon. Or at least from one of his shows - this one from Dollhouse, from the mouth of one Topher Brink, one of my favourite tech persons. But where does he come into this? Read on and find out!
But first, just for Thief, here's a palm tree:
Now on with the show!
10. Marco Pacella (The 4400)
He's kind of in the classic mould of a tech guy - glasses, unashamed geekiness, socially awkward. But underneath it all, Marco Pacella of the National Threat Assessment Command is a pretty cool dude. As head of NTAC's Theory Room (a name I have adapted for my own room), he was Tom Baldwin and Diana Skouris' first point of call for theories about the eponymous 4400 and their related abilities. And...well...by show's end...spoiler alert (highlight to read): he gains the ability to teleport!
9. David Levinson (Independence Day)
He graduated from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology to become a cable repairman. Not the type with a van, mind you. No, David Levinson (wonderfully portrayed by Jeff Goldblum) was Independence Day's arbitrary disaster movie everyman main character. But with a degree from MIT and the smarts to suss out the alien's nefarious scheme to blow up every major city on Earth. Though this is a Roland Emmerich film, so they all still blow up. But he does later show that he's smarter than the Area 51 scientist portrayed by Brent Spiner. Kudos.
8. jPod (jPod)
Shown here by the cast of the short-lived Canadian TV show adaptation of the Canadian novel jPod and most about the TV show characters, the jPod are probably the most successful slackers in the videogame industry. In their thirteen episode run, they manage to acquaint themselves with Chinese Mafia kingpins (the wonderful Kam Fong), suffer through one boss who is kidnapped and shipped off to China while the other hijacks them for his own personal project before blowing himself up. And this is just skimming the surface of their hi-jinks. They also gave me the phrase "The F-Bomb". Seek out and watch episode two, "A Fine Bro-Mance", for the context.
7. Douglas Fargo (A Town Called Eureka)
One of numerous techies and engineers resident to the mysterious town of Eureka, Douglas Fargo quite possibly has the distinction of being the most accident prone. His inventions routinely turn on him (see "H.O.U.S.E. Rules" for a good example) and apparently, his file at Global Dynamics uses the phrase "inappropriately pushed button" some thirty-eight times. While these things don't inspire the usual round of confidence you would like to have in the world's scientific elite, Fargo is no less of a wonderful and endearing character. Such is the life of the comic foil, it would seem. But he is still a genius. One day he'll invent something that will work perfectly and not be misappropriated.
6. Alyx Vance (Half-Life 2)
Our only entry for a videogame character, Alyx Vance, daughter of physicist and Black Mesa researcher Doctor Eli Vance is the erstwhile companion of everyone's favourite tight-lipped theoretical physicist, Doctor Gordon Freeman. Despite the fact that Freeman is a physicist, his overuse of the trusty crowbar appears to render him unable to use computers and his MIT education to navigate obstacles. Here is where Alyx is an indispensible ally - she hacks into computers, uses her sparking gadget thing to open doors and makes you play fetch with her pet robot, Dog. A robot her father built, then she added to. The end result is very impressive. Her resilience, resourcefulness and great company earn Alyx Vance the number six spot.
5. Q (the James Bond Franchise)
Alas not the John de Lancie Q of Star Trek: The Next Generation fame, this is the Q that kept James Bond alive for so many films. A divisive issue it may be, increasing Bond's survivability, but nonetheless, Q's appearances in the first twenty or so Bond films were scenes to look forward to and cherish. Ably played by the late Desmond Llewellyn, Q could easily match and outwit his reckless colleague while providing him with the means to defeat the bad guys. Despite what the gritty Daniel Craig Bond films will have you believe, Bond couldn't really ever be without Q.
4. The Lone Gunmen (The X-Files, The Lone Gunmen)
While their spin-off show might have slightly...well...tanked, their appearances in their parent show The X-Files were often the highlight of an episode. The oddball combination of John Fitzgerald Byers, Melvin Frohike and Richard Langly provided invaluable assistance to Mulder and Scully during their investigations. While in their first appearance in "E.B.E." they're set up as ridiculously paranoid conspiracy nuts, they became three of the most endearing characters in the entire series. Enough to get their own, aforementioned short-lived series.
3. Tony Stark (Iron Man)
"A genius, billionaire playboy philanthropist." Tony Stark's own words summing him up beautifully. This man graduated from MIT when he was seventeen and built a crude, but functional, powered armour suit in a remote Afghan cave with little more than "a box of scraps", as Obadiah Stane yelled at a poor, unfortunate scientist nowhere near a brilliant engineer as Tony Stark. His techie achievements and marvels are too numerous list in their entirety, so will stick with the miniaturised arc reactor and the Iron Man suit.
2. Topher Brink (Dollhouse)
Here is, the man behind this blog entry's title! Although I haven't watched all of Dollhouse YET, Topher made quite the impression as the strangely endearing, slightly amoral tech king supreme of the Los Angeles Dollhouse. Topher's best moments include noticing Victor's "man reaction" (and resulting investigation with Doctor Saunders) and his brilliant reaction to an experimental memory drug in the episode "Echoes". A genuinely funny turn. Makes you want a drawer of inappropriate starches...
1. Claudia Donovan (Warehouse 13)
Feisty hacker chick with deviantly coloured hair. When describing Claudia to my friends, I use those words. They roll their eyes, knowing my affinity to that kind of girl. No surprise really that Claudia snags the top spot here. As the youngest member of the Warehouse, Claudia strives and struggles to bring the reality of 21st Century technology into the Warehouse, much to the consternation of her boss, Artie. The hi-jinks that oft ensue from Claudia's tampering and tinkering are a delight and pleasure to watch. As are her constant pop culture references and her text alert on her phone - a Cylon voice proclaiming "By your command". And you can't help but find it cute when she genuinely exclaims "Zoinks!"
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Today I'm borrowing the wise words of sci-fi author Bruce Sterling, words I first came across in the foreword for William Gibson's short story collection, Burning Chrome. These have special meaning for me. All through my time studying Creative Writing at university, there was this tiny little struggle - every now and again - to be taken seriously. In fact, for a third year feature article assignment, I pretty much wrote a rant (an eloquent one, I might add), on how it felt to be marginalised in a subject that struggled so valiantly to justify its academic merit.
But today, today is not a rant. No, lately I've found myself in this strange kind of equilibrium, a sense of acceptance of both things outside of my control and feelings that I have. However, today isn't about this either. No, today's random rambling (off to a very nonsensical start), is about something else entirely. It's about writing. Of a sort.
Okay, more than of a sort. See, today's ramble is inspired by this video, made by a dear friend and fellow writer. It was inspired by the very first lines of this video. Because, not only I am a writer, but - shock horror - I'm a big reader too. And I'll be honest, it sometimes really, really surprises me how many writers, how many big names, actually know each other personally. To put into some perspective, take William Gibson (American-born, Canadian-based) and Douglas Coupland (Canadian-born, Canadian-based). I've read pretty much everything Gibson's ever written, while I've only (so far) read jPod (brilliant book, also awesome short-lived TV show), but one of Coupland's many, many works. But it was in the acknowledgments of Gibson's novel Pattern Recognition that I learned that more connected these two authors than Canada. Apparently, coffee was consumed, high above Shinjuku, new perspectives on Tokyo shared that evidently affected what Gibson wrote in Pattern Recognition.
This is, of course, but one connection amongst a sea, nay ocean, of the fundamental interconnectedness that is the universe. Or, as The Slush Pile Project video states, The Writerverse. This is becoming a thing. It's so totally a thing. But back to topic. So yeah, one of many connections in The Writerverse.
So this is kind of a response to my friend's video, to the notions presented about the loneliness of writing and importance of a community (aka, The Writerverse. You got that now? Writerverse? Good). So I'm going to take you all on a journey. I'm going to tell you where all this random crap started. I'm taking you back...to 2004.
It was around here that I twigged. I'd been writing stories, mostly only when they were assignments in school, for years. I loved it, I always had. Every chance I had, I would write a story...sometimes, I would stretch the assignment details to their very limits to write what I wanted to. Once though, my imagination in one assignment culminated in an interesting result - when I was in Year 6 of Junior School (this would've been around 1999-2000), a student teacher taking our class assignment as a creative writing task. She gave each table of students one picture and a back story on what was happening in that picture and they had to write the rest. She came to me, gave me the picture - one I remember vividly to this day. Back then, I didn't get it, but now, seeing it clearly, it was a pair of Israeli riot police and their van. Anyway, she gave me this picture and said "I'm not going to tell you what happened here, you've got such a good imagination I'll let you make up whatever you want."
That kind of faith in my imagination was exactly the kind of thing I needed and over the following years, I found myself writing more and more little stories at home. But something changed, something twisted in 2004. I can't quite tell you what it was, but I know the story that changed everything. It was 15-page short story, entitled The Fallen Angel. It was the first ever story I set on Mars. The year was 2207. The setting was the city of New Seattle, on a terraformed Mars, the main character was Angel O'Neal, a contract assassin.
From here, my writing, my ambitious imagination, it grew and grew. And I had my first taste of The Writerverse, of being a part of a community. I was part of a fan forum for the TV show 24, called 24Natic. Here, in the fan fiction section of the board, I posted my stories - one long, 24-related project and many, many others, completely non-24 related. Original works of mine. People liked them, commented to that effect. The first time my work was truly nurtured by a community. We may have only been fans, occasional dabblers in a spot of fiction about the show we loved, but it didn't make us any less part of The Writerverse, giving each other feedback on our work.
Time-jump to 2007. One of the biggest years of my life. Love and loss, moving away from home, university. It was the first step into a brave new part of The Writerverse. Suddenly, on my course, I was surrounded by like-minds, fellow travellers on this long and treacherous road we weave through The Writerverse, where road metaphors can suddenly give way to faster-than-light travel metaphors, dinosaurs or dragons, depending on whose company you were in.
We were, suffice it to say, an eclectic mix. You had your literary fiction types, people who seemed to be aiming with a massively ambitious cannon at some far away zeitgeist idea they wanted to be the pioneer of. You had your genre fiction people - those who loved certain times in history, or like me, people who loved imagining times to come, visions of what humanity could become in a few centuries' time. And together, we supported each other.
In the three years I studied Creative Writing, my writing grew leaps and bounds. I can honestly say that while I may have been a good writer when I was in school, when I came out of university, I was so, so much better. And this was not only thanks to my amazing classmates, who told me what I was doing wrong, what I was doing right, and for the love of the gods, would I stop making a huge song and dance of how frakkin' hot that holographic girl is with those freaking angel wings! It was the tutors too - those who supported me and those who seemed determined to get me to write anything but sci-fi. Especially the latter bunch in fact. They forged me, put me through a fire, challenged me and made me come out swinging. I'm still a sci-fi writer, they failed to stop me from being that, but by gods I'm damn frakkin' gorram proud of being a sci-fi writer.
But honestly, one of the most important things, what The Slush Pile Project is trying to do, what it will frakkin' well succeed at doing, what really matters when you're a writer, is to have people around you, people to bounce your ideas off and point out things that don't make sense to them. Everything might make sense to you, but if you're the only person it's making sense to, then there's something really, really frakkin' wrong here, kids. And it's that the community, those fellow writers flying around The Writerverse, who can help you.
So not only is this blog me talking about my origins as a writer, it's my unwavering declaration of solidarity and support for The Slush Pile Project. For The Writerverse. Watch the video. Heed the words. Seek out new writers and new imaginations. Boldly go where writers have gone before and where you can damn well make your mark. The Writerverse is ours, but we are most definitely not alone in it. We conquer it together.
Welcome to The Writerverse, children. It's a wonderful place to exist. We hope you enjoy your part in it.
(Song of the Mind: Dissolved Girl - Massive Attack)
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"Ask a glass of water."
These words are spoken between Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent, while about to travel into hyperspace onboard a ship of the Vogon constructor fleet that has just demolished the Earth. It is one of many, many genius quotations from a book I have a great fondness for and could quite happily quote all day long. And it would be quite fitting to do so today. For today...
...is Towel Day!
I've mentioned it before, during my assertion that we should have a Shiny Day in honour of Firefly. It is a day to honour Douglas Adams, author of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency as well as their many, many sequels. Two weeks after his tragic passing in 2001, fans of Hitch Hiker's decided that every 25th May from then on should be Towel Day, a day to pay tribute to the brilliance of Douglas Adams. Traditional fashion dictates that Towel Day be marked by the wearing of one's towel all day.
Hence why mine is on my hip, dangling like a gun in a holster, where it will remain for the rest of the day.
This is the essence of Towel Day.
That and I have the 1980 TV series of The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy playing in the background.
I will quoting along with it all day.
But I thought I would also talk about The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Much like my journey through the world of tea, there's been something of a journey for me here, with The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Rather fitting, given its title.
My journey began somewhere in 2005. I say somewhere. It was around May, in fact. This was when my GCSE exams were happening. I'm pretty sure this was the first time I had encountered Hitch Hiker's, though I may have come across it before. My mother had come across a long time before and she had the "Trilogy in Four Parts" version of the books (I have the hardcover Trilogy in Five Parts). Anyway, it was on BBC2, quite late at night and back in the day, I was a really nocturnal creature. Still am mostly, but work tends to mean I go to bed early.
Anyway, GCSEs, BBC2 and Hitch Hiker's. A combination of things that most of my teachers probably wouldn't approved of. Especially since my earliest and clearest memory of watching Hitch Hiker's was the day before my English Literature exam - an exam I had completely failed at during my mock exams the previous year. I say completely failed. I was given an E. My teacher had the distinct impression that this wasn't the grade I should've received. With that in mind, I probably shouldn't have been up late, having cram revised that day, watching TV.
But watch it I did. And thoroughly enjoy it I did. It was one of those things that I kept catching on TV now and again for the next few years. I even borrowed my mother's copy of the book. It is one of the only books that has ever made me laugh out loud. I mean, there are points in books that make me giggle, those that make me gasp at their twists, then there's The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. No other book has made me laugh so much. jPod (Douglas Coupland) came close, but it couldn't match the hysterics Hitch Hiker's reduced me to.
The hysterics I was reduced to wasn't the only effect Hitch Hiker's had on me. Around 2006/2007, well...there was this girl. It's a story my friends have heard a thousand times. But this particular incident led to an intriguing story being written. It goes something like this. Back in the day, I had codenames for girls I liked. Around 2006/2007, I had discovered James Cameron's Dark Angel and used X5 barcode designations as codes for these girls...this is not entirely a good story the more I say it, but oh well, it's in the past now.
Anyway...
It had reached the point where I'd explained the X5 thing to so many people that it wasn't so much of a secret code anymore. So, to preserve the secrecy of my crush on X5-718 (my school friends, if any of them are reading, should remember who this was), I wrote a completely random paragraph that contained within it all the elements that constituted the girl's name. Anyone who read it would just think it was something completely random. It was perfect. And somehow, it became the basis for a story I called "A Series of Universally Random Events" - essentially my version of Hitch Hiker's. Nowhere near as epic in length or funny in content, but oh well. It was something and people did find it funny, which was another something.
In 2008, I acquired the Trilogy in Five Parts of Hitch Hiker's. And it was probably around May that year that I was reading it, sitting in the window of my first year room, legs dangling out (I was on the first floor), vaguely enjoying the sunshine while laughing incessantly. Around the same time I bought the 1980 TV series on DVD (the same DVDs I'm half-watching now).
It wasn't until 2010 that I first observed Towel Day. I was working at TGI Friday's at the time. It was quite a quiet Tuesday. I had my towel hooked on my apron, on the side, gunslinger-style - the very same style I wear it today. The presence of the towel caused much, much confusion but after a quick explanation, everyone pretty much just accepted it and I went about my work. The next year, I had long since left TGI Friday's and was solely working at Boston Tea Party. I had checked and triple-checked that no one would have an issue with me wearing a towel to work, so all but one of my colleagues knew I was going to be wearing a towel. And no customers really questioned it.
No one tends to question the towel.
So this has been my random babble about Towel Day and The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I hope it's made sense and that everyone has a wonderful Towel Day, Glorious 25th May or Geek Pride Day, depending which geek holiday you're observing today.
First, some clarification. I'm not lost. Well, not geographically anyway. Metaphysically, maybe. I'm not angry, despite a day in the basement and the relentless tide of idle humans who had the opportunity to lounge about in the sun today while the rest of us pandered to their caffeine-craving whims. Also, I apologise for the bitterness. The heat makes me cranky.
However, I am armed.
Sort of.
I have to say, FedEx are frakking awesome. While the impending letter on import duty to be paid will likely put a downer on things, from shipping to delivery, it took them four days. Four days to get my latest item of QMx swag from California to Somerset.
Ladies and menfolk, I am now the extremely proud owner of a replica of the stunt pistol used by the one and only Captain Malcolm Reynolds of the Firefly-class transport Serenity.
All I need now is a long coat of a brownish colour.
But most importantly, I have my replica of Mal's pistol. It is sufficiently, if not - scratch that, IT IS - frakking exceptionally gorram awesome!
As has been promised, pictures will follow eventually. My dear friend Phoenix is still buried under mountains of work, but after that, a photo of me wielding Mal's pistol with the tagline "I aim to misbehave" (predictable, yes, but entirely necessary!) will be forthcoming.
In other news, still no new computer. Once again, a blog post is being composed from my housemate's Mac. Current soundtrack: Ketto - Bonobo. Always makes me think of jPod (series, not the book, though both are awesome) and Kam Fong. I swear, every time I hear this song I feel I'm about to bundled into a Chinese mafia kingpin's limo. To date, this still hasn't happened and as my iPod headphones died around the same time as my computer, these fears won't be surfacing on my walk to work. Or general walks into town. I do miss my soundtrack...
There's not much other news from the land of geekdom. It's pretty much my ownership of Mal's pistol. So let's talk about it some more.
It's a strange thing, finding such fondness and beauty in a weapon of all things, but from the first moment I saw it in Serenity (yes, I did the whole Firefly-Browncoat-fandom a bit backwards), I loved that pistol. From an aesthetic standpoint, it's a beautiful thing. It's the shape, it has all the right dimensions in all the right places. Though it may also be some kind of spiritual connection to the wielder of the weapon. There's no denying it - Malcolm Reynolds (and, by extension his actor, Nathan Fillion) is a damn fine and handsome man. And there's a little part (or maybe big part), I imagine, of many, many male Browncoats that look at Mal, aiming to misbehave with that pistol of his, wishing that they were him, that suave, down-to-Earth-That-Was and dashing rogue. Or you were me, wishing you were that loveable pilot, cursing dinosaurs for their sudden but inevitable betrayals.
If only I could pull off a Hawaiian shirt...
Speaking of these damn fine men, I was reading something rather amusing earlier - SFX magazine's Top 200 Sexiest Characters in Science-Fiction. They've paired their Top 100 Men and Top 100 Women lists and the pairings are more than a little gigglesome. And Number 5...yeah, dude, that is totally destiny.
Until next time my dear readers, I'm going to walk around with Mal's pistol looking gorram shiny.
