I'm here to save the world, who will save Supergirl?

Today's title is a little bit abstract of sorts. And instead of being a television or movie quotation, it's a line from a song. Music is funny thing with me. I tend to go through phases, listening to one album/particular set of albums at any one time. Currently, I'm in a phase where I'm near constantly listening to one of my (recently discovered) favourite bands, Halestorm. Specifically, their album "The Strange Case Of..." and this particular lyric is from the song "Hate It When You See Me Cry".

So I've established the context of the title. Now I have to explain how it has earned the label of "abstract of sorts". You see, today I have decided that I shall do a top ten list, as I haven't done one in a good long while. And in the spirit of vengeance that I have been possessed by as of a late. Before I go into the list, a tiny bit more context in terms of spirit of vengeance.

It involves one of the people dearest to my heart, as it often does when my spirit of vengeance is invoked. The Rhaegar Targaryen to my Lyanna Stark, the one known as Thief. To briefly surmise, someone is being evil to her. This person is known as The Harpy, The Garbage Scow or The Monumental Bitch (pardon my language). It is this person who has awoken my spirit of vengeance. And for this reason, it's time for my top ten fictional weapons. Useful for personal defence and exacting vengeance upon silly, useless Garbage Scows.

10: The Scythe (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Not only featuring a neat little stake at the bottom, the Scythe as one hell of a blade which is excellent for slicing, dicing and making julienne preacher. As you can see, it has a rather pretty colour scheme and is capable of slicing Nathan Fillion into two halves. Just to repeat one salient piece of information...slices...Nathan...Fillion. Into two halves. For that it deserves a place in the top ten, but for the crime of splitting Captain Tightpants in two, it remains at number 10.

9: Ebony Warhammer (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim)

So I've mentioned Skyrim a few times now. As of this moment, I'm at level fifty-two and thus far, only really at the point of using Ebony weapons, even though Daedric weapons are cropping up here and there, while Dragonbone weapons still elude my reach for now. As a result, I have discovered what could be considered a slight streak of House Baratheon mixed in with my House Stark-ness. And that is the use of warhammers as my favoured mêlée weapon. It's rather worryingly satisfying to beat down a horde of enemies with this particular weapon.

8: The Tesla (Warehouse 13)

Not a weapon for killing, but very, very satisfying for electrocuting/stunning them into submission. Invented by every self-respecting geek's favourite underdog scientist, Nikola Tesla. Wielded by many agents of the Warehouse and knacked (thank you, China Miéville for this usage of the term) handily by the brilliant Claudia Donovan into the Tesla grenade, it is a simple weapon. A civilised weapon, given that it doesn't kill. And it wipes short-term memory just a little. Handy if you're caught doing something you shouldn't really be doing...

7: RC-P120 (Perfect Dark)

One of only two projectile weapons to make it onto the list, the RC-P120 has the distinction of being the only automatic weapon on the list. With a clip capacity of (funnily enough) one hundred and twenty bullets, it is perfect for tearing into a crowd of enemies. It also has a neat secondary function (as all Perfect Dark weapons do) of having a cloaking device. There are two drawbacks - one, the device feeds off the P120's ammunition at a phenomenal rate and two, as soon as you pull the trigger, the cloak disengages. I favour the approach of jamming down on the trigger and taking down my enemies. It's rather effective I find.

6: Particle Magnum (Stargate: Atlantis)

Modelled here by its main user, the ruggedly handsome Jason Momoa (in character as Satedan native Ronon Dex), the particle magnum is...just...well...neat. A powerful handgun that fires red particle blasts, well...in a slightly disconcerting way, it's an awfully pretty gun. But mainly it packs a neat wallop and hands down defeats the SGC's choice of the FN P90 as their default weapon. Plus, it's Jason Momoa's gun. That gives an instant cool rating.

5: Mjölnir (Thor)
 


Again modelled by a ruggedly handsome fellow, we delve into that awkward line between mythology and fantasy with the fabled weapon of the God of Thunder. Yes, it's the return of the mêlée weapons with Mjölnir. Now unfortunately, I have not read the comics. Well, except for a brief flirtation with the Secret Invasion story arc of the Marvel Universe. Back to the point, my experience with Mjölnir is mainly confined to Thor and I dare say, Chris Hemsworth does a lot of fun things with Mjölnir. Not only can it bash the ever-loving crap out of things, but it also helps Thor to fly. That's right. He can use the hammer to FLY. That's cool. Undeniably.

4: Honjo Masamune (Warehouse 13)

Warehouse 13 slips into the top ten once again, this time with a mêlée weapon - the ancient Japanese artefact, the Honjo Masamune. According to the wonderful Artie Nielsen, the Honjo Masamune is a katana so perfectly aligned that it can SPLIT LIGHT AROUND IT. And by doing so, it renders the user INVISIBLE. It's a katana that turns you invisible. This is quite possibly one of the most perfect vengeance weapons. Not quite the number one weapon, alas, but it's...well...it turns you frakkin' invisible. How cool is that?

3: Dark Energy-Infused Gravity Gun (Half-Life 2)

This one has, quite possibly, the most interesting definition of "weapon". It doesn't really fire things. It just...picks them up. Like a ball of dark energy, as illustrated above. The ball is then fired, which then disintegrates people. And in the final phases of Half-Life 2, the Gravity Gun becomes infused with dark energy, supercharging it. Not only does it pick up balls of dark energy, it picks up PEOPLE. Well, evil Combine soldiers. And from there, you can fire them into streams of dark energy. Which disintegrates them. It's awesome. Hence, it's in the top three.

 
2: Purple Flaming Katana of Self-Respect (Scott Pilgrim vs. The World)

We're closing in on the top spot and at number two, we have another katana. No official title as such, so I made one up. As featured in the movie Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, it is a purple flaming katana, pulled out of Scott's chest when he earns the power of self-respect. It's at number two for the simple reason that it's on fire. Purple fire. End of.

1: Moses Brothers Frontier Model B (Firefly/Serenity)

Shock horror, it's Firefly coming in at the top spot. Like all things in this corner of the Whedonverse, it's just a tiny bit pretty. I even have a replica of it in my room. There's something just so...simple about this weapon. It's a pistol. Nothing fancy, no great little secondary functions, just a simple handgun. It fires bullets. It gets Mal either in to, or out of, various hijinks. And let's not forget, "Every well-bred petty crook knows that the small conceable weapons go to the far left of the place setting". I just love that line. It has no real relevance, but oh well.

So there we have it. Potentially showcasing a worrying side of my psyche that finds weapons aesthetically pleasing, but, well...The Harpy shouldn't be making Thief's life difficult for her. It makes me vengeful. She won't like me when I'm vengeful. I'm a Stark of Winterfell. And no matter what she does, Winter is Coming. Plus, she's pissing off a Targaryen. Historically, not a good idea.

Now that's enough babble for one day. I'm hyper on tea and wondering if all of this was a good idea. Oh well. Should find out in the morning. Reminds of a good quotation from The Princess Bride:

"Good night, Westley, good work today. Most likely kill you in the morning."

(Song of the Mind: Hate It When You See Me Cry - Halestorm)

This boat is my home. You all are guests on it.

Yes, it's time to quote the wise and wonderful Captain Malcolm Reynolds. In fact, it's always time to quote Mal, but right now is even more appropriate than usual, because I feel like making a list. The first of many random lists I'm probably going to do in the course of my blogging "career". Today's list: my top ten favourite starships.

I apologise in advance if any spoilers creep in to my ramblings. I'm going to do my darned best to avoid them, but no guarantees. You have been forewarned!

So, in order from ten to one, here are the best and brightest vessels in the 'Verse.

10: Battlestar Pegasus (BS-62)

She's big, she's bad, she's nicknamed "The Beast". She's Battlestar Pegasus, the latest, shiniest addition to the Colonial Fleet's arsenal prior to the Fall of the Twelve Colonies. Commanded  by the ruthless Rear Admiral Helena Cain, this Mercury-class battlestar survived the Cylon assault on the Scorpion Fleet Shipyards, then went on to royally piss the Cylons off with hit-and-run attacks before she encountered Battlestar Galactica and the remains of humanity. 

9: USS Defiant (NX-74205)

In the tough nugget, bad-ass starship category, USS Defiant is Starfleet's niftiest contribution. Compared to other starships, she may not be the biggest, but with pulse phasers and quantum torpedoes, not to mention a Romulan cloaking device, she's one of the meanest ships in Starfleet. And under the command of Captain Benjamin Sisko, she went around beating the living crap out of Cardassians and Jem'Hadar alike during the Dominion War.

8: USS Daedalus (BC-304)

Slipping in at 8 is the United States Air Force and its beautiful, kick-ass battlecruiser, USS Daedalus. Commanded by Colonel Steven Caldwell (played by X-Files alumni Mitch Pileggi - I won't deny the squee of happiness when I first saw him on Daedalus's bridge), this beast first saw action during the Wraith Siege of Atlantis. Since then, she's been outfitted with Asgard beam weapons and has generally gone tearing around the Pegasus Galaxy, beating the living crap out of any ships dumb enough to oppose the USAF's shiniest battlecruiser. Also joined by sister ships USS Odyssey, USS Apollo and USS George Hammond.

7: Super Star Destroyer Executor

When she first appears in Empire Strikes Back, you know some serious shit is going down. Darth Vader's flagship  is probably the meanest entry in the Imperial Navy's arsenal after the timely demise of the Death Star. Easily as big as the Death Star itself (albeit flattened out), Executor spells doom to any Rebels as soon as it jumps into a star system. Well, at least it did until a poxy little A-Wing crashed into the bridge and took the whole thing out at the Battle of Endor. Up until then...she was a pretty bad-ass ship. Oh well. It was only because Darth Vader wasn't breathing heavily over everyone's shoulders and Force-choking dumb-ass admirals.

6: USS Enterprise (NCC-1701)

Specifically the NCC-1701 from the new movie. Although the original ship from the Original Series was beautiful, JJ Abrams injects new life into James T. Kirk's famous first command. Combine its gorgeous "ample nacelles" (thanks, Scotty) with her awesome crew and you have a pretty bad-ass ship. Best choice for Federation flagship by far...

5: USS Enterprise (NCC-1701-E)

...until you consider this beauty. While Kirk's Enterprise is a wonderful ship, she will never be as beautiful as Enterprise-E or have a captain as amazing and classically trained as the one and only Jean-Luc Picard. While his more famous command was Enterprise-D, it's Enterprise-E that steals the show here. And with the aforementioned captain at the helm, she beats out both Defiant and the "original" Enterprise as best ship in Starfleet. But does she really clinch the title? Let's see...

4: SSV Normandy (SR-1)

Coming in at 4 is Mass Effect's SSV Normandy, a nifty little ship, product of a collaboration between the Systems Alliance and the Turian Hierarchy. Equipped with an experimental drive core and stealth systems to make every other race in the galaxy weep, the flagship of humanity's first Spectre is a cheeky little number that anyone should be proud to command. And when piloted by Seth frakking Green...what more could you ask for?

3: USS Prometheus (NX-59650)

Alas, Enterprise-E, in spite of its Shakespeare-trained captain, failed to clinch the honour of Starfleet's best and brightest. That honour falls to USS Prometheus, featured only once (well, in focus), during the Star Trek: Voyager episode "Message in a Bottle". So what sets Prometheus apart from Defiant, Enterprise and Enterprise-E? Easy. Multi-vector assault mode. Built specifically for combat in the Dominion War, Prometheus is capable of splitting into three separate, fully-armed, warp-capable sections. Three-in-one starship? Now that's frakking bad-ass!

2: Battlestar Galactica (BS-75)

When it comes to bad-ass, though, no ship in any universe whatsoever beats this beauty. Star of the eponymous show, Battlestar Galactica is one of the toughest, most sublimely beautiful warships in existence. Over its long, long career, it's been nuked, tangled with numerous Cylon basestars and never fails to come out swinging. Under the faithful command of William Adama, it's no wonder humanity survived the Fall of the Twelve Colonies when they had this motherfrakker showing those frakking Toasters who's boss!

1: Serenity (03-K64)

Here she is. By far, indisputably, the most beautiful ship in the 'Verse. I won't lie. I want one. I want to live on it. She may not have weapons, but she's a ship you can love. Makes her home :) And she's so small, you could probably fit in her Galactica's flight pods, which means I could have both my favourite starships together. I could go on and on about why I love this ship, but just watch Firefly, watch Serenity, then you shall understand the true awesomeness of this humble cargo ship.


So there you have it. My (personal) top ten favourite starships. Feel free to scream at me for missing off ships you love, or to praise my selection. I hope you've all enjoyed this, as I hope to make more top tens. Proposed topics - sci-fi ladies and favourite starfighters. Until then, this has been my top ten favourite starships :D